Let’s talk about relationships 1st monogamy non monogamy infidelity, happiness what being and experiencing real true love feels like to me.
I see so many people In my personal life and on my social media feeds who paints this picture of the perfect relationship day after day when in reality… behind closed doors it’s nothing like it appears. We put this mask on for the world
Making it appear like is is something it isn't..
Snap the pictures, post them and pull the covers back over our heads.. living a dbl life that others will never understand
I will be one to admit I will never be the one to understand why others wouldn’t choose happiness over grief every single day? I understand things are and can be complex... but again hard love here< YOU allow it to be complex. You stayn is why it continues. I've lived through abuse... I know what it does.. I've watched people I love crumble and their lives change forever because they stayed..
BREAK THE CYCLE> It has to stop!
That's all I'll say on that!
It's very hard for me to see others that I care for so empty inside yet claiming their worth for everyone else around them. That is not healing that is masking! ❤️🩹
And before you go any further please remember this is how I feel and I fully understand not everyone will align with my thoughts here. I also understand there’s multiple layers to every situation. I respect your choices these are mine and my views. Take what resonates and leave the rest, I'm here to dump my feels for me. And in hopes it helps someone else reading this do the hard things and put them selves 1st for once! Your worthy my love, just trust and love yourself first.
And that's enough about that part, moving on..
My husband and I have been together 22 years married 10 we are far from perfect,... we have had our fair share of ups and down. From 16 years -40 there's has been so many challenges and changes we have endeavored. We have never tried to be perfect, although some may say we are the "perfect couple" I hear this often but disagree because I don’t think perfection exists I think perfection is allusion we all have in our mind of what things are supposed to look like, what society has conditioned us to believe is “normal” when in reality nothing is normal! What is normal to one person is not normal to another so how can we label anything as normal.
I look back and 80% or more of all weddings that I have attended thus far in my life have resulted in divorce, infidelity, overall unhappiness, trauma, broken hearts, emptiness, unworthiness … and ultimately end with one or both partners feeling broken and lost
Why do we feel we have these social standards to withhold because we were told this is how it is meant to be. But we are all seeing how it’s ending.... are these standards to hard to achieve in todays world?..Maybe they are, maybe they're not; or maybe it's time to look deeper than the surface of what a relationship has been painted to look like for us.
Man women marriage kids
Work obey and look the part right? Isn’t that what they claim for us. Happy family paint the picture and drag yourself through life.
But what if that isn’t it.. what if it was all a LIE! What if you we’re told there is no rules from day 1.. that happiness can look and feel differently to everyone and if we all stopped trying to “fit in” a standard box and really sat down with yourself and were honest on what it is you want,? What would you want your life too look like if you could choose differently?
What if you then had this same conversation with your partner(s) and asked them what he/she wanted.: what their desires are:… what’s missing, how can we grow together, how can we fullfill each other’s needs and still be together? What can we do differently so we can both be fulfilled everyday. What's their love language? How can you serve them and yourself better?
What if you did the hard work together. What if you both tried new things. What if you took the blindfold offs and allowed the unknow in?..
What if you looked at “marriage” differently.
Tbh the word marriage is just a bandaid label for society to assume you to be official! It’s a piece of paper for the state to keep track of you and then screw on tax money but that’s another conversation! 😆
What if you could not offer your partner all the things that they needed and wanted to fulfill their needs.. would you take offense to that or get creative and find a way for them to be able to fill their needs… supporting them and loving them holding space for them as they explore and evolve, loving them even more for being honest and truthful to themselves and you and NOT going behind your back and seeking else where.
Or would you turn that person you claim to love away and make them feel unwanted, different, unsupported, unloved not welcomed and throw them out because you this one person in this whole entire universe doesn’t have every single thing in your body; your energetic soul field to fulfill that one other person in the world?.. Is that really fair?
Do you really think that God made all the trillions and billions of humans on this planet for one man and one woman to find each other in this world and fulfill every single need they have for all of eternity in this lifetime?
Come on 🤦🏻♀️ It can't even be! Monogamy is so hard!! For some maybe not, but for most it's a struggle for eternity. Go ahead and admit to yourself it's okay 👍🏼
Do you know that humans are the only species that are expected to mate with one person for the rest of their lives?
That most animals mate and leave their partners immediately, children are born and sent into the wild immediately, the male then goes and mates again and again and again and recreates life with no expectations of staying
. ( not condoning terrible parents here, just to be clear 👆🏼😉)
This is consensual for both the male and female in the wild yet here humans think that once we mate with one person that person is now a possession of theirs.. “they are mine”
I am not a possession and neither are you man or woman! The only way you can earn the title of a possession or you should obey another human is if you are in a submissive dominant relationship where this is consensual and that too it’s perfectly OK because it’s what those humans involved wish and desire and consciously consensually offer each other and enjoy it! This is totally different and something you earn not demand!
Also another very sexy way to play roles in your marriage safly 😉
But Unfortunately statistics prove most marriages anymore end with infidelity, I’m not surprised by this not one bit at all! Again as I said above how can we as one human on this planet expect one other human to be “THE ONE” who has it all and beable to fulfill every single need you need for the rest of your lifetime?.. My husband IS my #1 and no one will ever take that place from him... but there is still more I want and need out there and he understands this for me and I'm grateful for that.
We as humans tend to fight the inevitable need of human touch, connection, love and desires we ALL have and need to fullfill. We bury them down and mold ourselves into these agreements that we have been conditioned to believe is the only way and when it doesn’t work we blame ourselves causing trauma fear pain anger that then spills over into the next relationship over and over again.
These are all low vibration, Low frequency energies that bog down our energetics field and block us from ever truly feeling what love feels like, whether it is coming from within or from somebody else it don't matter you will never feel it living in those conditions. Staying will never allow you the freedom you seek!
When we choose to go against the “norm” females especially are labeled as wrong, a slut, misunderstood, a homewrecker.. when in reality all that human is searching for is a energetic connection of the things that they are missing.. they are trying to fill their cup
To fill that void within their life, they are searching for what they NEED to be full but then shamed for being selfish in what they desire and want. I also will say I do not condone cheating either... but I will never blame a human for searching for the things they need when they don't have a supportive partner to allow them to grow. One can not grow and be healthy and happy in a dark and dull environment. Turn the lights on your shadows.. what's Lurking in the closets?... Do you even know?
Why does it have to be one or the other? Why do we make it this hard for each other!??
Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too? Like seriously who said you can’t have what you want, be married and fully in your truth? It is possible believe me!
What if your partner openly and lovingly opened their arms and their heart to allow you to find the things you need to fulfill your needs… what if we put jealousy and fear on the back burner and we opened love communication and honoring each others needs first. What if we heald space for each others needs first
Could you allow your partner to love someone else while loving you even more for allowing you this space needed?
Or does fear immediately kick in, jealousy, rage and all of those negative feelings arise from past trauma that we stored?..
What if exploring being free opened our hearts in ways you never knew where imaginable?..
When in a long-term relationship we know there will be changes it should just be expected. Think about yourself personally think about the different chapters in your life the different phases you have grown through.. during that time of growth you can’t deny that your needs want desires have changed.. your taste in clothes and food changes, just like food you might like something now that you never liked as a kid and you allowed that with no hesitation right?? Our sexual intimate needs are going to change as well as we age change, shift and shape through our evolving lifetime. Expecting that one same person to be able to honor all of these things for eternity to me feels like setting that other person up for disaster. That’s a lot of pressure for one human to withstand.. and eventually when they can’t offer you that.. things may fall apart if you can't communicate and express yourself to them.
It really doesn't have to be this way..
it really doesn't have to be that hard. WE the humans are the ones making it that hard!
.. I know personally I energetically fall in love with a lot of people that come into my life. When I form a relationship with people my soul wants to go deep… I want to know you and I don’t mean just on the outside. I want to know what you like what turns you on what are your desires, what's your background, what's your favorite colors, what lights you up inside!?
I wanna fulfill your needs as a friend as much as my own needs. How can we fill each others cups ... how can we fullfill needs and I don’t mean just sexually. I have many relationships in my life and not all of them are sexual. Nor plan for them ever to be.:. But I still love that person and hold space for them daily. They are my people and they are the people who fill me up so I can be my true authentic version of myself.
I also care deeply and want my partner/s to feel strong secure needed wanted pleased adored.. Appreciated and so much more.
When I can fulfill these things for myself I can easily offer my partner what they need in return with so much more ease. I’m not depleted > I’m FULL and have so much love to spill over into their cups. We all win when we are full 🫶🏼
How can we expect love from other humans when we can’t even be honest with or love ourselves?! Do you even know what you want, at this point most can honestly say no?
We as humans need to stop shoving these “issues” desires & needs to the side pushing it under the table pretending it’s not there masking yourself day in and day out that you are being fulfilled in every way possible when in reality you’re craving something deeper than you can even explain. You must communicate and I can’t say this word enough! Communication with your partner is the key essentials to a lasting relationship no matter what that relationship looks like!
I believe there’s so many things out there that we as humans don’t allow ourselves to explore because of the labels, the criticism, the judgment, the expectations that we put on ourselves from birth on. Being told you can’t like girls, or boys …. You have to marry this sex…. These “labels” if you will come from far back in our dna that we unconsciously continue to pass these conditionings down from generation to generation without even batting an eye… Will you be the one to break those generation curses in your family?.. if not that’s OK but I know that for me myself personally I’m here to do this and a whole lot more🙌🏼
So what if we threw that book away and we re-wrote how it’s supposed to be for us.. for you… for me... not for your neighbor, not for your place of work, not for your parents not for anybody else but YOU!?? What if we went back to the days where they were sister wives women who came together consensually to raise children, husbands share their wives, The wives share the duties… The wife’s needs were met, she/they were the queens of the house. The husbands were well taken care of in every way, .. The children were well beyond loved because they had so much support in a loving energetic home without judgment of the outside world. What if there was a place where the rules didn’t exist… what if we were truly here to experience love in all forms with No judgment no fear no jealousy
Just truth, where we can allow yourself to be free for what ever it is. No labels just living?…
What if this was possible
Would you change how you feel, how you live, would you allow yourself to open your heart to truly feel that kind of love???
Honestly ask yourself if you could be free what would that look like for you?
I encourage everyone reading this to ask yourself these questions.
I encourage everyone reading this to ask yourself if this isn’t for you okay I’m 💯 okay with your life the way it is if you can honestly say your truly happy… but could we stop passing judgement on others who choose to see and experience this life “differently”
We are all here to experience the same joy this life has to offer. All I want is to live fully in my highest expression. To be love, to experience love, to GIVE love.. And I can happily say I honored to receive this kind of love everyday.
I am Truly Honored to have the opportunity to be in this life time with my partner, my husband my Rock, my love of my life Eric. I thank you for being the man you are, I thank you even more for loving me for WHO I am, for excepting me, honoring me, and allowing me to give and receive the way I do. Because of you I have the support to be me. Because of you I can love freely the way my heart calls to. Because of you I am can be me
You my love fulfill me in ways I can’t put into words. I truly adore you and all your flaws
To me baby we are perfect
I love you 😘
With all of my love
💋 Sara Marie the Queen bee 🐝
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